How I Keep the Kid in Me Alive

During my primary school days, on some of the weekend, it is a routine trip to go to a local coffee shop and having breakfast. Typically, roti canai and a cup of tea. The tea must be consumed in a special way… to drink it from the plate instead of from the cup.

During my childhood, most of the year, on 29th January, we will go to KFC restaurant at KOMTAR. This is probably the only fast food restaurant that we consumed, not because of preference, but due to budget constrain. We are from lower middle class family, therefore eating out especially at fast food restaurant is considered luxury. It’s not the food, but the time spent at the restaurant is the most memorable. 

When I was a teenager, I recall we purchased an audio CD from a night market, Back Street Boys. Despite our financial status, we had good HiFi stereo systems at home. I enjoyed listening to sounds and rhythm of songs more than lyrics till this day.

After finishing school, I got admission to IIUM matriculation. One day prior to the registration, we went to KL in a bus. The 4-5 hours is probably the longest conversation we’ve ever had.

When I was in 1st year of my Degree, I received a news that doctor advised to take care of health, and to put some effort to maintain health. It was like overnight change. Worst was, the job is lost. To continue livelihood, security guard job at Swimming Club come in handy.   

During my final year at University, I was asked if I have a girlfriend. It’s strange that this kind of questions being asked, and I wonder what is the motif behind this questions. I replied, No.

In 2005, 2 weeks before I’m supposed to start my engineering career, I received a phone call from a cousin that have never called me. He was just asking how is everything going on, and he hangs up the call. After 10minutes, I received another call from my brother, and he said that an accident happened late night yesterday, and currently the patient is in coma due to severe head injury. The following day, I visited the patient at CCU, and he was unconscious. 

The next day, at 3.30pm, I was standing outside the CCU room. The doctor came out and looking for close relative of the patient. Once I enter, the Doctor said he is no more. 

I called my cousin to let him know the situation, and he then notified the rest of the important family members.

In the evening, for about 1 hour, they put the bathed and wrapped body (ready to be buried) in the hall for the people (normally with be aunties aged 50+) to mourns. After I went to the end of the room, I kissed the forehead. Can't remember when was the last time I kissed an adult’s forehead before. He was then buried the same day. 

This is the story of my Father. He was born on 29 January 1955, and died on 3 Dec 2005. Even though me and my father had little interaction and mutual interest after I reached teenagehood, to lose him due to an accident is a bitter reality to accept. But, it is the plan of God. 

My father was a hardworking and a shy type of person. He does a general clerk job from 8am to 5pm, and 3 time a week 7pm-9.30pm he will help a minimarket with their bookkeeping. After he got heart attack 5 years earlier, he changed a lot. He started to rekindle ties with relatives, became very open and friendly. 

He is a visionary. He spent money to buy desktop in early 90s. All three of us (myself, elder brother and younger sister) got a head start in life with usage of computer, but limited to few hours on Saturday and Sunday.

He also purchased Elken RO water machine in early 2000 when it was not a common thing like today. Because the price of the machine is expensive, he sees the opportunity to sell the filtered water for cheap price. Relatives and neighbors started to order for 1.5L and 5L bottles.

He purchased a low cost flat in mid-90s, and couple of months before he passed away, he have completed the mortgage payment. Meaning, he did pay extra now and then so that the mortgage duration and interest is reduced.

I regret not having better relationship with my father. I delayed the initiative, but the day never arrived.

Since I can’t turn back the time, the least I can do now is to spend time with my kids. I really wish that I will be the hero to them. And that's how I keep the kid in me alive.

Please pray for my Father that his sins will be forgiven and he will enter Paradise.

Thanks for Reading.