Thursday 15 March 2012

Anger Management

Types of Anger: Verbal & Physical

4 types of Style of Anger

1. Open Aggression
They will use all Verbal and Physical Anger to express themselves by scolding that person or even worst, hit. Does it Solve the Problem? No because it worsen the Condition of the Problem.

2. Suppressed Anger
This kind of people will just sit down and not do not want to talk about it. He/she will remain Silence and suppress all his/her anger.Does it Solve the Problem? No because the anger is still there. it does not solve the Problem.

3. Passive Anger
 Person that express their anger by Cutting things, throw, hit things to express.Does it Solve the Problem? Still no. He/She wasted so much properties for Destroying, Problem is till there.

4. Assertive Problem Solving
Ah yes, this is Sunnah. Prophet SAW solve his anger by SOLVING THE PROBLEM!

A Story where there was a guy peeing inside the Mimbar of Masjid Nabawi, all Sahabat was about to kill the person, but Rasulullah (pbuh) stopped the Sahabat. "Let him finish his things".
After the Guy finished, Rasullullah (pbuh) approach the person and politely advice the guy about his faults.
The Guy replied, "Oh Allah, Mercy upon me, Muhammad and the Sahabat" 


HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER?

1. Choose to pay attention to your feelings
2. Express your feelings in a very polite way
3. Solve the Problem in a Agreeable Way.
4. Follow ACTS Technique! 
A - Aware of the Feelings
C - Control and Response
T - TALK (use WIN: W - When: e.g. When you come home late, when you use my computer, when you use my mug; I -  I FEEL: e.g. I feel Sad, I feel empty, I feel Disrespect, I feel Down; N - NEED: e.g. I NEED you to come early, I NEED you to use my Computer, I NEED you to use)
S - SOLVE 

10 Ways to Limit Your Anger
1. Seeking Refuge with Allah from Syaitan
2. Keeping Silent
3. Not Moving
4. Following the Advice of the Prophet Muhammad SAW
5. Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours
6. Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves
7. Following the Prophet's Example in the case of anger
8. Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness
9. Listening to reminders
10. Knowing the bad effects of Anger.

NEVER SEND AND EMAIL WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY !!

Narrated Abu Hurairah (r.a.): Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said, 
The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, 
but he strong is the one who controls himself while in anger”.
[Bukhari Vol 8 Hadith No 135]