Divorce Letter

Dear Wife,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for
seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your
favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of shirts later that night.

You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all
of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case,,,, I'm gone.

Signed,

Your EX-Husband

P. S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away together.
Have a great life!

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Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have
been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch
my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it
doesn't work.

Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,, and actually the first thing that came to my
mind was "You look just like a girl",,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you
can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating chicken seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new shirts on because the price tag was still on
them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning and your shirts were RM49.99...

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit
prize money for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life
you've always wanted.

My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed:

Rich and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Ina',,, was born Bob.
I hope that's not a problem for you.