Love your Wife until Jannah

By Sheikh Abdullah Adhami

By getting married you are not just getting a wife; you are getting your whole world. From now until the

rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your
successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you;
when you need help, she will do all she can for you. When you have a secret, she will keep it when you
need advice, she will give you the best advice. The best description that I personally have ever read
describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says:

"They are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187)

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection,
the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine
a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort,
protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan
journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and
affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquility that fills the hearts of the
spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings
is that: it is an act of Allah (s.w.t),

"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature..."
(Surah Al Nahl 16:72)

Only the Almighty Allah s.w.t., in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and
ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah s.w.t., is reminding
those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among
the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an:

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may
dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts:verily in that
are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah s.w.t., knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times
dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might
weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness
requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the
soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah
s.w.t., for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet(s) said :

"One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food
that he puts in the mouth of his wife".

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening
the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet(s) used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her
up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and
Allah s.w.t., is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace
with Allah s.w.t., will always result in having more peace at home. Remember that the Prophet(s) gave glad
tidings for those couples that wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet(s) even urged the spouse who
rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her
advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet(s) said:

"The best of you are those who are best to their wives"

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe
that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love
what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones.