Anger Management

Types of Anger: Verbal & Physical

4 types of Style of Anger

1. Open Aggression

They will use all Verbal and Physical Anger to express themselves by scolding that person or even worst, hit. Does it Solve the Problem? No because it worsen the Condition of the Problem.

2. Suppressed Anger

This kind of people will just sit down and not do not want to talk about it. He/she will remain Silence and suppress all his/her anger.Does it Solve the Problem? No because the anger is still there. it does not solve the Problem.

3. Passive Anger

 Person that express their anger by Cutting things, throw, hit things to express.Does it Solve the Problem? Still no. He/She wasted so much properties for Destroying, Problem is till there.

4. Assertive Problem Solving

Ah yes, this is Sunnah. Prophet SAW solve his anger by SOLVING THE PROBLEM!

A Story where there was a guy peeing inside the Mimbar of Masjid Nabawi, all Sahabat was about to kill the person, but Rasulullah (pbuh) stopped the Sahabat. "Let him finish his things".

After the Guy finished, Rasullullah (pbuh) approach the person and politely advice the guy about his faults.

The Guy replied, "Oh Allah, Mercy upon me, Muhammad and the Sahabat" 

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER?

1. Choose to pay attention to your feelings

2. Express your feelings in a very polite way

3. Solve the Problem in a Agreeable Way.

4. Follow ACTS Technique! 

A - Aware of the Feelings

C - Control and Response

T - TALK (use WIN: W - When: e.g. When you come home late, when you use my computer, when you use my mug; I -  I FEEL: e.g. I feel Sad, I feel empty, I feel Disrespect, I feel Down; N - NEED: e.g. I NEED you to come early, I NEED you to use my Computer, I NEED you to use)

S - SOLVE 

10 Ways to Limit Your Anger

1. Seeking Refuge with Allah from Syaitan

2. Keeping Silent

3. Not Moving

4. Following the Advice of the Prophet Muhammad SAW

5. Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours

6. Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves

7. Following the Prophet's Example in the case of anger

8. Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness

9. Listening to reminders

10. Knowing the bad effects of Anger.

NEVER SEND AND EMAIL WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY !!

Narrated Abu Hurairah (r.a.): Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said, 

“The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, 

but he strong is the one who controls himself while in anger”.

[Bukhari Vol 8 Hadith No 135]

UMRAH: Checklist and Tips & Tricks

Check List

A. Solat Jenazah & Doa Sajdah  

B. 2 pairs of ihram

C. Odorless Vaseline

D. Very light 'sejadah' (prayer mat)

E. Very light slippers with plastic bag

F. Slipper sling carry bag

G. Lip bum

H. Scissors

I.  Belt

J. Shaver - arm pit and private part

K. Small Tissue

L. Pocket Qur'an with translation

M. Pocket doa book

N. At least 95 doa - prepare a list

O. Loose money of Saudi - max 50/100 dirham note

P. 2 page Umrah guide (download here: http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/umrah-flyer.pdf)

Q. International travel adapter 

R. Sun glasses

S. Face mask

T. 3 pairs of clothes

U. Clothes detergent and brush

V. 4 clothes hanger

W. Towel

X. Small Water heater and cups

Y. 3in1 tea, milo or coffee

Z. Small iron

Tips & Tricks

Bring max 3+1 set of clothes only. 

You don't need your laptop. Handphone is enough. Mashaallah Mekah is full of people and some shops open 24hours

1000 riyal is enough for normal usage - 2 person (2-3kg of kurma ajwa, 3-4 jubah, souvenir, snacks and foods)

Do lots of ajr (good deeds) - pass tissue paper, provide / give away water

Learn how to stop people crossing your sujud  

'Mobily' Prepaid, 40 dirham only. Good enough.

Keep lots of loose change always to give charity

Do not bring thing that you can buy there. Keep some space in your luggage. Bring extra hand carry bag, limit is 7kg.

Abaya (jubah perempuan) price is 5-20 dirham cheaper in Mekah - depends on the price. e.g. 100 -> 80. 30->25.

But Medinah's abaya is more beautiful than in Mekah.

Baby stroller not allowed - carry baby or rent wheelchair.

Baby will start crying after takbiratul ihram

Not many money changer available in Mekah. 

2 part of mosque (Near mount Marwah, near Hotel Hilton) Like 2 different part of the world

Cold and normal temp zamzam water available

Prepare to listen these words: hajjhi, hajjhah, sweu sweu

Pushing wheelchair service 200 dirham for tawaf and sa'e

A lot of people can speak Malay. Indeed you may get better discount if you speak / nego in Malay

Foods are not allowed in the Mosque

Miqat at Tana'im (Masjid Aisyah) is among the nearest mosque 7km. Cost range from 3 to 30 riyal per person.

For Men: If you intend to perform Umrah more than once, then do not clean shave your head the first time. Spare the clean shave for the final Umrah. Normal package from Malaysia will have options to perform Umrah 3 times.

Lots of Barber shops available outside of the Mosque, near Mount Marwah -> 4-5 shops in a row. 

Solah timing a bit late in Medinah (gap between azan and iqamah) compare to Mekah

Kurma Nabi. 1kg Price is 120 dirham, anything cheaper than this is low quality

You can eat any amount of kurma nabi at ladang kurma for free

Pictures:

https://picasaweb.google.com/109983068211332784266/UmrahFeb2012

Youtube Video Guide:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42lGURPNmpc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwj5m2_teQ4

Graduate's Dilemma: Riba' Loan

Summary:

1. Buy a car or a motorbike with monthly installment will result in paying Riba’.

2. Staying with your parents, and commute public transport is the best way not paying Riba’ while having less expenditure

3. Renting a place to stay with friends and buy a car is the highest possible expenditure one will face.

Will result in paying Riba’, and monthly saving is about RM200 only.

4. Some may opt for buy a car (to be used for ‘balik kampung’ and or weekend activities), and buy a motorbike

(daily commute to work). This will result in paying Riba’ as well.

Minimum Expenditure Staying with Parents= RM680;

Total Savings per month= RM2000 – RM680 = RM1320

Annual savings = RM15,840

Minimum Expenditure Staying with friends / Rend a room = RM1160;

Total Savings per month = RM2000 – RM1160 = RM840

Annual savings = RM10,080

Proposed strategy: For Boys

First 6 months to 1 year, commute public transport. Then, if deemed necessary,

buy a motorbike (~RM5,000) with cash.

Annual increment and bonus can be used for other expenses like upgrade hand phone,

laptop, pay back PTPTN, holiday, etc.

Depending either staying with parents or renting a room, minimum saving after 4 years will be RM40,000.

This amount can be used to buy a new car.

I would recommend not to buy a house / apartment in your early career days. Why:

1. monthly payment will be about RM700; this is a Riba’ loan

2. downpayment, lawyer fees, etc, and renovation cost will be about RM60,000.

Some will opt for loan for this as well. Riba’ loan again.

3. no flexibility to venture new job opportunities; far from house, or even another state

4. need to align with your wife’s working place; can easily move to another rental house /apartment

convenient for both of you

Get married only after you’ve bought a car with cash. Remember, this is the most killer expenditure!.

Don’t look for status, rather look for maintainability and practicality.

Proton Saga worth RM40k, and this is sufficient if you want to buy a new car – big space, less fuel consumption.

To buy a second hand car has its own pro and cons.

After marriage, I would recommend that to stay in a rental house / apartment (maximum RM600 a month) until

you have enough cash to buy your dream house with cash.

There is no problem / shame staying in a rental house / apartment.

In Europe, only rich and retired people own a house, the young ones normally will only rent.

With monthly saving of RM1300, After 10 years of your married life, your bank balance alone will be about RM150k.

If your wife is working as well, easily you can afford to buy a house by then.

Be patient, and make your strategy. There is no short cut for success.

Always prepare yourself, avoid taking Riba' loan by any case, and when opportunity knock your door,

you are then ready to take up the challenges, insya'Allah.

Proposed strategy: For Girls

Don't look for a partner that is graduating the same time as you!.

Considering the explanation above, you can make a strategy that your partner is someone that graduated

3-4 years before you, and already bought a car with cash. Smart move is not it?

Immediately after graduation, get married. Then, discuss with your husband about your intention about your career;

whether you prefer to work, or become house wife.

You can now discuss with your husband about renting house / apartment in which area.

Also, if he decide to go oversea to work, you can easily follow him as well.

Saving on Energy Costs

Lighting

- It is perhaps the easiest to save electricity here. Simply replace all your light bulbs with compact fluorescent

lights (CFL) and you would save 70% from your daily energy usage.

- CFL may be more expensive than ordinary bulbs but they are worth the investment as they last over 10 times

longer and use up to four times less energy.

- Turn off the lights every time you leave a room.

- During the day, use as much natural lighting as you can by drawing open the blinds or curtains.

- You can even install a skylight to get more light in!

- To save on electricity use for outside security lighting at night, install a motion sensor to automatically shut off

the lights after a set period.

Ironing

- Iron only the clothes you really need to iron. Don't bother ironing underwear or handkerchiefs.

- Try to buy clothes made from “iron-free” or “wrinkle-free” materials.

- Hang your clothes quickly after washing; don't let them sit in the dryer.

- Do all of your ironing in one session.

- Switch off the iron if you need to go somewhere in the middle of your ironing.

Air conditioner

- Set the air-conditioner at the highest temperatures that you are comfortable with to preserve as much power

as you can.

- Get a timer and set it to turn off about the time when you leave for the day and to turn back on when you get home.

- Ensure all doors and windows are closed when the AC is on.

- Do not block the air vent and condenser.

- Install shades, awning and drapes to keep your room and house cool.

- Better still, use ceiling fans instead of air-conditioning to keep cool.

Fridge and Freezer

- Put your fridge somewhere away from direct sunlight, the cooker and oven.

- Vacuum clean the condenser coils at the back or underneath your fridge/ freezer regularly because accumulated

dust reduces their efficiency by up to 25%, adding the cost to your electricity bill.

- Defrost your fridge and freezer regularly. An iced-up freezer will make the freezer work harder, therefore using

more energy than needed.

- Don't put warm or hot food into the fridge. It will use more energy to cool the food down.

- Keep liquids covered when putting them in the fridge. Evaporation of uncovered liquids will make the fridge use

more electricity.

- Defrost frozen food in the fridge; this helps to cool it.

Washer and dryer

- Only use the machine when there is a full load.

- Set the water temperature low before you start washing. The washing machine uses the biggest chunk of energy

between 85% and 90% - just to heat up the water for the washes.

- Hang your clothes out to dry rather than use the tumble dryer when the weather is favorable.

Other electrical devices

- Do not leave your electrical devices on standby when not using them. This is actually a waste of energy. Appliances

left on standby use up to 85% of the energy they would use if fully switched on.

- Always unplug and switch off the main power when not using your electrical devices.

Cooker and microwave

- When cooking, always use the correct size pan or pot so no extra energy is used to heat the excess.

- Cook many items at the same time when your electric cooker or oven is hot.

- To reheat food or to cook small portions, use a microwave. Although a microwave uses a lot of power, it does so

over a very short time and so saves energy overall.

Best Management Lesson

Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam at Wharton India Economic forum, Philadelphia, March 22, 2008

Question: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure?

APJ Abdul Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India's satellite

launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India's 'Rohini' satellite into orbit by 1980.

I was given funds and human resources - but was told clearly that by1980 we had to launch the satellite into space.

Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal.

By 1979 - I think the month was August - we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control

center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist

of items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display

showed that some control components were not in order. My experts - I had four or five of them with me - told me

not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel.

So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything

worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket

system plunged into the Bay of Bengal. It was a big failure.

That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Dhawan, had called a press conference.

The satellite launch was at 7:00 am, and the press conference - where journalists from around the world were

present - was at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India].

Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for

the failure - he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support.

He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed. Now, I was the project director,

and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.

The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite - and this time we succeeded. The whole nation

was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, 'You conduct the

press conference today.'

I learned a very important lesson that day. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from

reading a book; it came from that experience.

When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure.

When success came, he gave it to his team.

Forgive Me When I Whine

Artist: Ahmed Bukhatir

Album: Da'ani

Title: Forgive Me When I Whine

Today, upon a bus,

I saw a girl with golden hair.

And wished I was as fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave,

I saw her hobble down the aisle.

She had one leg and wore a crutch.

But as she passed, she smiled.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine.

I have two legs the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I `d go.

With eyes to see the sunset's glow.

With ears to hear what I'd know.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine.

I have blessed indeed, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy.

The lad who sold it had such charm.

I talked with him, he seemed so glad.

If I were late, it `d do no harm.

And as I left, he said to me,

"I thank you, you've been so kind.

You see," he said, "I `m blind"

Oh God, forgive me when I whine.

I have two eyes the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I `d go.

With eyes to see the sunset's glow.

With ears to hear what I'd know.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine.

I have blessed indeed, the world is mine.

I saw a child with eyes of blue.

He stood and watched the others play.

He did not know what to do.

I stopped a moment and then I said,

"Why don't you join the others, dear?"

He looked ahead without a word.

And then I knew. He couldn't hear.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine.

I have two ears the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I `d go.

With eyes to see the sunset's glow.

With ears to hear what I'd know.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine.

I have blessed indeed, the world is mine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB71vFTYWsM